As soon as Mariah Carey starts to thaw out each year and the sounds of All I Want for Christmas are on repeat in stores across the county, my anxiety begins to creep up.
Holiday cards.
Gift shopping.
Gift wrapping.
Event planning.
Memory making.
Magic and whimsy orchestration.
I’m sweating writing those out.
My husband though?
Chill as Frosty.
Because he doesn’t feel the same amount of urgency and stress that the holidays tend to inflict on me. It’s just that moms are often the ones to make sure it all gets done and take on the mental load of the holidays, am I right?
To be honest, it’s mostly me doing things, but I can’t totally blame him because I want things done a certain way. As much as I want the help, I also want it done my way and with his laidback attitude about the holidays and my Martha-Stewart-on-crack holiday tendencies, dramatics tend to abound.
Which leads me to, the emotional labor of the holidays can be a lot. And I want to create warm, whimsical, and magical feelings for the holidays in our home.
But, I’m not willing to sacrifice my mental health for it.
How to Balance the Holiday Load
Ask for help upfront
If you are like me and you are already feeling overwhelmed….don’t be afraid to ask for help. There is nothing wrong with asking the elves for some support this holiday season. If there are traditions that you do every year as a family, assign manageable tasks to individual members of your family. I love doing Christmas cards (I think mailing cards is a lost art with all of the digital media in today’s world) so I tackle addressing the cards but Callie helps me stuff them and stamp them with our festive holiday address label. I arm my husband with the list of gifts we need from Amazon and let him add to cart until his heart’s content–I just manage the gift wrapping!
Talk about the holiday expectations and needs ahead of time
There is nothing worse than expecting something to happen and it doesn’t. I also think it’s not fair to your family members to not give them the opportunity to weigh in on the events, memory making, and the workload that comes with the holidays. Have a family meeting and talk with your partner and family about what everyone is hoping for this holiday season. It’s a great opportunity to see what things everyone is passionate about and a good starting point to assign certain tasks, especially if one person is particularly passionate about a certain part like wrapping gifts(ahem, me).
Loosen up
This is literally just for me. Sometimes I just need to chill out. I love the holidays maybe even a littttttttle too much. But since I can’t do it all, I’ve learned to let some of the holiday things go. For example, rather than bribing my family to get dressed up and take holiday photos in the sweltering Texas heat for our Christmas card, I’m going to gather up a few of our favorite memories from the last year and do a collage instead. Time and stress savor. Can’t do homemade cookies for the second grade class party? Buy some treats from a local baker instead; look at you supporting a small business and taking something off your plate!
Take a look at your holiday list and decide what’s crucial and what you can let go of this year.
I can honestly say, I don’t remember the “perfectly” crafted moments of Christmas magic from my childhood. I can remember the smell of cookies baking, the sound of our boots crunching in the snow as we picked out our tree, and the way the lights twinkled on the windows of the car as we drove at night. Those magical moments have stuck with me.
No matter what your holiday preparation looks like, I hope you can carve out a little bit of time to enjoy the holidays too.
You definitely deserve it!
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