The holidays are painted as “the most wonderful time of the year.” But for anyone grieving—a lost loved one, a relationship, health, or even the life you imagined—the season can feel unbearably heavy. While others are celebrating, you may be just trying to get through.
And that’s okay.
Grief and joy can coexist. Two things can be true at the same time.
Here’s how to honor your feelings while leaving space for small glimmers of light.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel It All
You don’t have to paste on a smile. If you need to cry through a carol or skip a gathering with friends, do it. I’ve found that grief doesn’t follow the calendar, and you don’t owe anyone cheer.
Create New Traditions That Honor Your Loss
Lighting a candle, setting a place at the table, cooking their favorite dish—these rituals acknowledge your loss while weaving love (and remembrance) into the season.
Anchor in Micro-Joys
Micro-joys don’t erase grief, but they soften the edges. Notice the glow of lights on a quiet walk, the warmth of a blanket, or laughter with someone you trust. Small joys coexist with sorrow—and both are valid.
Lean on Support Systems
This isn’t the time to go it alone–this is more a personal reminder for me, but if you need it too, then let’s do it together. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a grief group, or a therapist, let others share the weight. You deserve support.
Release “Perfect Holiday” Expectations
The Hallmark version of the holidays doesn’t exist. Your holiday doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Give yourself permission to create a season that fits where you are right now.
Final Thoughts
If the holidays feel heavy, know that you’re not alone. Grief has a way of magnifying during the season, but so does love—and so do glimmers of joy.
This year, instead of striving for perfect, allow yourself to simply be. Light the candle, sip the cocoa, cry if you need to, laugh if you can. That’s enough.
Sending you love and light,
Jaime