Disabled isn’t a bad word.
Callie is disabled……she doesn’t consider herself someone “with” a disability.
Disability is not something that she can pick and choose when to carry around with her.
She can’t put it on a shelf and come back to it when it’s more convenient.
She can’t forget about it or only sometimes deal with it.
It’s with her every second of every single day–inextricably linked to who she is.
She can not separate from it and its integral part of her identity.
The older that she gets, the more we are learning, growing and supporting her in identity first language 
Just like I use the term “Diabetic” to describe myself, Callie is confident using “Disabled”.
Identify first language acknowledges the vital part it plays in who she is. Her disability is one piece of the beautifully made puzzle–its hard sometimes to draw the line between where the disability ends and Callie begins. Identity first language helps to affirm and validate Callie–AND her disability at the same time.
As always, this is from our perspective and what works best for our family.
If you aren’t sure what language to use, take cues from the person you are speaking to or simply ask! Its not the end of the world if someone doesn’t use the “right” language because they forgot or don’t know. But we all have the ability to be conscious of our language and adapt it when needed.
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