I went to the parent meeting for incoming freshman at the high school Callie will be attending.
Sitting there, I listened to the counselors detail the extremely complicated class selection process that is entirely based on the “major” the child selects as their field of study.
They detailed the difference between AP and Honors courses, courses with college credit, and how to juggle 45 extracurricular activities to show colleges how well rounded the kid is…. plus sports.
And band.
And don’t dare forget the volunteer work that the kid must do to look good on a college application either.
Not to actually do something nice in the community but for college admissions 
Hands shot into the air when the counselor asked if there were any questions.
“How do we do AP, Honors, GT, AND college courses?”
“Can my son do multiple sports in one season?”
“Can my daughter do cheer, color guard, and maybe also participate in marching band at the same time?”
“How do you calculate GPA for valedictorian?”
I started getting anxious and stressed out, and I wasn’t even their kid.
And if you know me….you know your girl is a Type A goal setting queen.
But…..
Is it too much? Have we put too much emphasis on doing ALL the things that we forget to teach them to find one thing they really love and do that well?
Have we put too much stress on looking good on paper for college than actually being a good person?
Do we teach kids to compete constantly? Instead of teaching them how to explore, discover, reflect, experiment, learn who they are and have some freaking fun?
Because when I think about it, our girl loves horses. She’s been riding since she was five years old and absolutely is at home in the saddle.
And we have told her since the day she started, she could quit anytime she wanted.
Because we want her to do it because she LOVES it.
Not for competition, likes, trophies, medals, or accolades.
Because she loves the hobby.
Not for crowd recognition, spectators, or applause.
Because she WANTS to be there and it sets her heart on fire.
Not to make money or to win ribbons.
Because it’s fun, joyful, a good place to learn, and an inclusive experience for her.
Because she can’t imagine not doing it.
Not to make her parents happy or because everyone else is doing it.
I don’t want her to look at hobbies as only things she can “win” at, use to make money, or improve her “resume” for college.
I feel like we have this “achieve, achieve, achieve” culture for our kids now.
Urging them to always be performing, achieving, excelling, and performing.
On the next goal, the next check box, the next “thing” without a breath or a break in-between.
We don’t give them time to explore, learn themselves, try different things, or just frankly…..relax.
I want her to find passions that she loves and are just for her–
Whether or not anyone else is in the arena watching her.
I left the meeting and sat in my car for a few minutes.
Making a silent promise to Callie that her mama will not get caught up in the competition- overachiever- stressed out-must constantly be performing-culture of high school.
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