If you’re somewhere in your 30s or 40s and feeling like your body, brain, and emotions are all going the deep end—you’re not alone. That was me, too. What I thought would be a “gradual transition” into menopause turned out to be a full-on hormonal rollercoaster.

I wish someone had pulled me aside and said: “Hey sis, this is actually perimenopause—and it’s totally normal.”

So this post is that conversation–here’s what I really wish I had known before perimenopause started.

1. It Can Start Earlier Than You Think

I always assumed menopause started in your 50s. What I didn’t realize is that perimenopause—the transitional phase before menopause—can begin as early as your mid-30s.

Early signs I brushed off:

• Waking up drenched in sweat
• Sudden anxiety out of nowhere
• Periods that were unpredictable, heavy, or vanished for months
• Brain fog
• Mood swings

I wasn’t “just tired” or “too busy”—my hormones were shifting. And they’re going to keep shifting for years.

2. Your Cycle Becomes an episode of Where in the World is Carmen San Diego

Gone were the days of regular 28-day cycles. Instead, I got:

• 21-day cycles followed by 45-day ones

• Periods that lasted 2 days… or 12

• Debilitating cramps one month, nothing the next

I kept thinking something was wrong, when in fact it was textbook perimenopause. Your cycle becomes erratic as estrogen and progesterone do their own thing.

3. Mood Swings Are Real (And Not Just in Your Head)

Some days I felt super grounded. Other days, I cried over commercials or completely lost my shit over someone using the last of the toilet paper (in my defense, that is a rude move). I’d never felt so emotionally raw or out of control before.

This wasn’t weakness or mental instability. It was hormonal fluctuation, and no amount of “positive thinking” could fix it.

What helped?

Awareness, self-compassion, getting a solid supplement stack, HRT, and sometimes a long nap.

4. Brain Fog Is a Thing—And It’s Frustrating

There were days I couldn’t remember words (like ANY words), lost my train of thought mid-sentence, or forgot why I walked into a room. It felt scary at first—like I was losing my mind.

I wish I’d known how common this is during perimenopause, and that it doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. Your brain is navigating hormone fluctuations and withdrawal—cut it some slack.

5. Sleep Becomes a Struggle

I used to be able to fall asleep anytime, anywhere. Then came:

• 3 a.m. wakeups

• Restless tossing

• Feeling exhausted no matter how long I slept

One of the biggest perimenopause challenges is poor sleep—often due to fluctuating estrogen, cortisol, and melatonin levels.

And poor sleep affects everything else.

6. You Might Feel Like a Stranger in Your Own Body

Whether it’s:

• Weight gain around your midsection

• Thinning hair

• Increased sensitivity to stress

• Low libido

Your body starts to change. And while it can feel disorienting, it’s also an invitation to reconnect with yourself in a deeper way.

7. Doctors Don’t Always Offer Helpful Answers

I wish I’d known to advocate for myself more. Too often, I heard:

“That’s just aging”
“It’s probably stress”
“Your labs are normal”

In fact, if I heard the phrase, “Your labs are normal” one time, I heard them a thousand times.  But I knew something was off. I have lived in this body for my entire life–no one knows her better than I do.  But, many doctors aren’t trained to recognize perimenopause symptoms unless your hormone levels are way off or you’re near full menopause, and most won’t do anything to help with the symptoms of perimenopause either.

Trust yourself. Seek providers who understand women’s hormones and listen to your true lived experience.

8. Community Is Everything

I felt so alone—until I started talking about it. Turns out, many women were experiencing the exact same things… we just weren’t saying it out loud.  I do feel SO grateful that my generation is blowing the lid of perimenopause and menopause because I can’t throw a rock without seeing some 40-ish year old woman on social media talking about eating protein, wearing a weighted vest, and getting her supplement stack down.  It is everywhere.

Podcasts, Facebook groups, and real-life chats became lifelines. We don’t have to go through this in silence or shame anymore. We deserve support.

9. There Are Tools That Actually Help

From cycle tracking apps to hormone-balancing supplements, there are resources that work—but you have to find what works for you.

Things that helped me:

• Magnesium before bed

• Removing alcohol

• Consistent movement (strength training, walking)

• Talking to a functional medicine practitioner

• Ashwagandha, creatine, Vitex Berry, and DIM
• HRT

You don’t have to “tough it out.” There are ways to support your body with grace.

10. This Is Not the End—It’s a New Phase

Perimenopause can feel like a loss: of predictability, reliability, energy, and sometimes confidence. But it’s also a season of awakening. It strips away what no longer serves and invites us to listen deeply to our bodies.

I now see it as a portal—not a problem.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Changing

If you’re wondering why everything feels “off” lately, and no one’s giving you answers—this might be it. You’re not broken. You’re becoming.

Let’s normalize this conversation. Let’s support each other. Let’s walk through perimenopause with honesty, humor, and heart.

You’re not alone. You’re just becoming more you.

And your body is doing exactly what she’s supposed to do.

Sending you love and light,

Jaime

Please leave this field empty

want more joy in your inbox?

Subscribe to receive our monthly emails!

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.

Check your inbox or spam folder to confirm your subscription.