My mama heart is heavy today……Callie came home from school today and told me she was sad and didn’t understand why she had to have a prosthetic leg. She asked me why she couldn’t have a real leg.
These days crush me. Normally, we are very positive and she handles this stuff with grace.
And then there are days like today…..where it’s hard to find the right answer. The right words.
Where I’m just as sad as she is.
Where even I don’t understand why this has happened to us. There are days where I am so angry that she has to go through this that I want to scream. There are days where the grief crushes me so much it’s hard to breathe. There are days where the sadness is physical and my heart actually hurts. There are days when I mourn for the “normal” life we should have had….There are days where I make deals with God to trade places with her…asking Him to put the burden on me and not her. There are days where I wonder if we are doing a good enough job to show her how amazing we think she is…..and that we don’t see her as anything but whole. There are days where I question just how much more we can handle without falling apart.
And on those days….I just have to pray. Pray i have the right answers. Pray I have the right words. Pray I have the strength for her. And pray that tomorrow will be a better day……..
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