How to Help Your Kids Set Goals for the New Year

Last week, we talked about setting goals for the New Year instead of resolutions and I thought I would do a slight spin on that topic–how to help your kids set goals for the New Year.

A child’s self-confidence is greatly impacted by working toward a goal and seeing it through and what better time to set a new goal than at the New Year?

That being said, there are right and wrong ways of goal-setting with your little ones. I think you have to focus on making sure that it’s a kid appropriate goal and also one that’s smart, healthful, and inspiring.

How to Help Your Kids Set Goals for the New Year

Give kids the reins

Let’s face it: New Year’s resolutions are tough enough to keep when we set them ourselves. Can you imagine how uninspired we’d feel to face them each day if they were decided for us? I think it’s important to let your little one have agency over setting their own goals (with parameters of course). Allowing your child the opportunity to identify what is important to them can be powerful and it loses it’s meaning when it comes from someone else like Mom or Dad.

Frame it right

I think this one is pretty key. There has to be a strategy when you approach goal setting with your kids and personally, I think the best way to focus on self-improvement goals is to approach it from a growth perspective. As a family, we all have capacity to learn and grow. Part of learning also means being OK with making mistakes, asking for help, and getting up and going again (and again).

There’s no faster way to give up on a resolution than to realize it is never going to be within your reach. If your child is like mine, a huge dreamer with an even bigger imagination, its important to strike the right balance between aspirational and attainable. Here’s where I think breaking the goal down into bite sized pieces (small actionable steps)–each a measurable, realistic goal in itself. With this method, we teach our kids a valuable life lesson: how to work through the steps it takes to achieve their goals. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Consider your values

When you sit down with your child to dream up your resolutions for the year, bring every self-improvement goal back to your family’s values of health and body neutrality instead of a certain weight or aesthetic. For example, a goal to eat more fruit and veggies makes our bodies feel strong. Goals revolving around physical activity can tie into being strong and feeling proud of how are bodies work. Goals about getting more sleep and going to bed on time can tie into feeling rested and having more energy.

Show them how it’s done

I call this show don’t tell. With every aspect of parenting, the best method of teaching our children is always to model the behaviors we’d like to see. My husband and I set personal goals right along side Calle and we talk about what paths we are taking to “reach out goals.” I want Callie to see us engaging in goal setting (and achieving behaviors) and be inclined to follow suit.

I love a vision board. But I actually like making them on Pinterest more than I like a physical one because I can find specific images online that I might not be able to from a magazine. Plus, then I can set the vision board as my background on my phone or as a screensaver on my laptop! But when I think of a family vision board, I think of it as a family brainstorm session. It’s a way to get everyone involved in setting fun and healthy improvement goals for the new year. Kick off your discussion by prompting each family member to consider what healthful habit they would like to engage in more in the next year (think eating more fruit at lunch, checking out new hiking trails, reading more, doing a digital detox, etc.) Then, invite everyone to clip out photos, illustrate their intentions, or use good-old-fashioned words to set their sights on healthful and fun improvements for the new year.

I also love the idea of having everyone write out their resolution and posting it in a place that is seen every day is a great idea. I love writing on the mirror in the bathroom, and that is a great place to use dry erase markers and write our resolutions out and remind ourselves each day. You can also use jars to keep track of how many times you do your resolutions, by putting a bead or stone in the jar, or put together a family competition of how many days in a row you can stay true to your resolution – when you miss a day, you have to start again, and whoever has the longest streak each month, wins!

When it comes to self-improvement, it is our duty as parents to help nudge our kids in the right direction. We set resolutions, not because there is anything innately wrong with us, but because there is always room and reason to learn and grow.

I think when it comes to goals of weight or looking a certain way, it’s a good practice to steer your kids back to how they want to FEEL in their bodies. It’s a good opportunity to have a discussion about being strong, confident, and feeling good in our bodies rather than looking a certain way.

What are some great goals for New Years for kids?

Kindness, one random act of kindness per day.
As parents, praising our kids every day for something they did well.
As kids, making sure to thank someone every day for going out of their way.
Volunteering as a family, choosing a group or charity to support, every month or on a timeline that is feasible for the family.
Learning a new vocabulary word every day.
Starting a family activity together (game night, craft, etc.).
Reframing a negative thought every day.
Spend less time on electronics, video games, social media, etc. (LOVE THIS ONE)
Using less plastic, being more eco-friendly.

Happy goal setting!